Hospice News

Patient & Carer Stories

Here's Tony's story told by his wife Kelly...

In 2024 Tony was diagnosed with spinal cancer. Three and a half years earlier, he'd battled lung cancer, and he and his family had thought he was approaching remission. Tony was paralysed from the chest down, so his wife Kelly quit her job to become his full-time carer.

After five months of Kelly caring for Tony at home, he was transferred to St Peter's Hospice Inpatient Unit (IPU). During the weeks he spent on the IPU, Kelly was by his side every minute of the day. Having the support of the nurses on the ward allowed Kelly to be his wife again, rather than his carer, and their care extended to Kelly.

She said: "I was there every day and night, sleeping in the room with him. The nurses made sure I was fed. They made sure I took breaks when I needed them. They took care of me emotionally. If I was upset, they'd walk me outside and just listen to me talk. They'd bring me cups of tea. At night, when they'd come in to check on Tony, and I would wake up, they'd tell me to go back to sleep, and that they had everything in hand."

The time on the ward gave the couple, Tony's children, and family and friends, a chance to be together and connect. It was a time when they could sit together, hold hands and hug and have the time and space to say all the things they wanted to say to each other, and it gave them the chance to say their goodbyes. Tony, who was a musician, loved to listen to music, and Kelly remembers how they spent time together on the IPU, just listening to The Beatles, a band they both loved.

Kelly said nothing was too much for the nurses on the ward. "Even when it was three o'clock in the morning, if Tony wanted ice cream, that's what he got. From the minute we arrived on the ward, the nurses took us under their wings and supported our family in every which way. It's like St Peter's is one big family - we never felt like outsiders."

Whilst Kelly was by her husband's side on the IPU, it wasn't just the nurses who would support her. "Everyone at St Peter's plays a part," said Kelly. "The cleaners included. If I was upset, they'd stop what they were doing and make sure I was OK."

After Tony passed away, Kelly wanted to give back to St Peter's. She would volunteer in the café at the Hospice, then got a job as an Assistant Manager in the Stoke Lane shop. She's now Shop Manager in the Southmead store. Kelly loves working in the shop and helping to raise money for the Hospice. She said: "People come into the shop and share their story about losing a loved one, and they talk about the amazing care they had from St Peter's and I can relate to them. There's lots of lovely supportive conversations in our shop."

Kelly often goes up to the Hospice for meetings and training. She said, "It's been nearly two and a half years since Tony died and every time I go to the Hospice and bump into the nurses, they remember me. They know your face and your name. They never forget you."

"Before Tony was cared for by St Peter's I had an image of a hospice being a dark and awful place with people dying everywhere but it's the complete opposite," said Kelly. "When you're there it doesn't feel like it's the end for everyone, they make your wishes come true."

"When you watch the person you love die, it changes you," continued Kelly. "It really makes you realise that every minute counts and all you need in life is love. And love really shows at the Hospice, you're surrounded by it."

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