Dave & Janey's story

Dave & Janey's story

01 Jun 2021

Patient & Carer Stories

Hospice patient Dave was 65 when he died of prostate cancer in October last year. We spoke to his wife Janey who told us all about Dave's journey with the Hospice, and how the care he received helped them as a family.

Dave, Janey and their daughter

"Dave was diagnosed six years ago and he was quite well for the first four or so years, he was able to do everything he wanted. But in the 12 months leading up to his death he was in and out of hospital a lot. In May last year the Oncology team referred Dave to the Hospice. The referral came as a huge relief, we knew then that we had the expert end of life care that Dave needed.

"Dave started receiving care from the Hospice's Community Nurse Specialist team and because of the pandemic, most of Dave's support took place over video call. We had a call booked in every two weeks but Dave's nurse Kate made it clear that we could call her any time we needed to, which helped us to stay calm and not worry so much. Our daughter also moved in with us towards the end, we had a lot of fun and remember them as good days.

"At this point Dave's pain and breathing were becoming much worse and he was struggling to get out of bed. Our Hospice Community Nurse Kate took care of everything, including arranging for the Hospice at Home team to be there, working hand in glove with other services so that Dave could die at home.

"During Dave's last week we had a Hospice at Home nurse there most of the time. It's a big deal letting a stranger into your home as you're trusting them with the person you love. But they were amazing. They allowed me to sleep, and I knew that they'd come and get me if anything changed. Dave was getting the best care possible. They dealt with any challenges calmly which allowed me to stay calm as well. For me it was the difference between going under and not going under.

"The way that everyone involved with Dave's care worked together was brilliant, everyone was kept up to date so we didn't need to worry about explaining things. Dave's nurses were empathetic, they listened carefully and talked honestly and openly about death and dying. They know the technical and medical side of things whilst also having the human, spiritual side too. You get the whole package wrapped up in one person.

"I feel that if we didn't have the Hospice Dave wouldn't have had the same death. He wasn't afraid of dying but he was afraid of being in pain. In the end Dave had a good life and a good death and that's all any of us can ask for."

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